Last Moment
by iFlare
Summary: Riku has returned to Destiny Isalnds with Kairi and Sora, but he still feels guilty for what he's done. He wants to start over again, but it's only hurting him. He wants to be with a certain someone, but he can't. He wants to leave this world.....
1. Drowning

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters, this is only for fun.

Italics-thoughts/flashbacks

This is written in first person (Riku) and third person omniscient : D

Enjoy and please leave reviews!

Chapter 1-Drowning

_Three years have passed, and so much has changed. They forgave me, but I have not forgiven myself. They welcomed me back, but I did not wish to be welcomed. They smiled at me, but I could not reply back. I wish I could literally retrace my steps and erase what I what I've done, or better yet make it so I would never sign that dotted line, that changed my life forever. I wish that I could have heart like his, smile like him, as if there was no care in this world. I look at myself and I ask, who is that staring back at me? It replies, it's you. I stare, gaping. Is that really me? It nods. I don't know who I am anymore, where I should go and how I should live my life. Should I leave Sora and Kairi to their fairy tale ending? Or I should I stay here, slowly wasting away by myself?_

_I can't picture anything, I can't recall, I can't remember the last time I smiled, laughed…cried. Or had any emotion inside of me. _

I've become a blank scrapbook, waiting to be refilled with memories, the good…and the bad.

I stare at the blade lying in my shaking hands. Giving off a spark in the afternoon glow. Urging me to pull the blade down and deep on my arm, giving me sweet grief that fills me with joy.

"Hey! Riku! Riku!"

Damn, it's Sora. If he sees this, he'll lecture on and on that what I'm doing is a mistake…I shouldn't end my life like this…I have so much to live for, blah blah blah.

I pulled my drawer open and shut it just as Sora climbed through my window.

"Hey, Kairi and I are going down to the island, wanna come with?" he smiled, like he always did.

I sigh, looking away. "I-I don't know Sora, I'm not feeling well…"

"Come on!" He urged, leaning towards me. "It'll be fun and it'll be good for you to get out for a bit." He stood up, putting his arms behind his head.

"…Maybe…but…" I started.

I wanted to say I had something important to do. But his eyes. Whenever he looks at me, I get this feeling that I cannot explain in words…he changes perspective, your mind and shows you the right way to go.

"But Nothing Riku." He said pointing at me with his index finger, with the other hand on his hip.

I sigh. "Fine, fine. But only for an hour,"

"Alright!"

I gave a small smile. _Thanks Sora._

At the Island….

"Oh Sora…isn't today such a beautiful day?" Kairi sighed, throwing back her hair that fluttered in the light ocean breeze, imitating a blazing fire.

"Yeah…" Sora breathed, closing his eyes.

_I glance over them, laughing their hearts outs. While I sit wanting to tear mine out and throw it to the sharks….If there are any. _

_Why can't time rewind itself? I would give anything to go back to when we were just kids. Where Sora and I first met and knew instantly we'd be the best of buds and best of rivals, where we used to pretend to be pirates and raid the secret place for treasure, where Sora and would compete over everything eating, running, fishing…you name it. Although we didn't know back then. It occurred to us, three years ago on this very day, where our world took a turn for the worst._

"Hey guys, you know I just realized?" Kairi said with a small smile.

"What?" Sora asked with a grin, lying back on the sand.

"Three years ago on this very day, we were separated,"

Sora pursed his lips in a thoughtful manner. "You're right!" He said pouncing up.

Kairi blinks and leans over to Sora. "Hey, is Riku okay? He's been acting weird ever since we came back," she whispered.

I knew what she was saying. I know that she cares. I just want to leave, those words are cutting deep, I try to block it out but it's to no avail. I want to speak, but nothing comes out. I want to scream, but nothing comes out. I want to cry but nothing comes out.

"I don't know…but you know Riku. It'd be better if we just left alone to think," Sora whispered back.

"Yeah, you're right," she sighed.

"Don't worry." He soothed her, pulling her close.

Her head lay on his chest, as she were sleeping in an upright bed. She bit on her thumb, worriedly. "I just don't…"

He pushed her chin up, towards his face. "I won't let it happen again, or anything else bad happen…I promise." He smiled and kissed her.

I glanced over at them feeling like I was stuck in a moment frozen in time. I wanted to look away but I could not. I did only what came to my mind first. I raced down the sandy beach, kicking sand up in the air, racing to my unknown destination, getting closing to the finish line that instantly met my face. I felt chills travel throughout my body, as the light got dimmer in dimmer and as I sunk deep and deeper into the ocean depths. I felt my vision get hazy, my head floating amongst the clouds and my body heavy as lead. I'm almost to the finish line, the line getting flatter and flatter.

"Riku! Damn it Riku wake up! Don't do this! Come on buddy! Please….Riku. Hold on…. hold on"


	2. Shining Through

Chapter 2-

Disclaimer: I do not Kingdom Hearts or its characters, this is just for fun.

A nurse dressed in a white uniform stood over a silver haired male, tending to his delicate state. He lay there with a mask placed over his face and his hair billowing out on the pillow; his eyes hidden amongst his bangs. The nurse touched his face, and looked at him with worry hanging in her eyes. "…Oh please be alright." She muttered, taking her hand off and turned and walked out of the lit room, casting light on every object, brightening them up…except for the person lying on the bed.

"How is he doing?" asked Kairi standing up. "Please tell me he's going to be alright, I can't stand to lose him again!"

Sora rested his hands on her shoulders. She looked back him, tear-stained, like a lily sprinkled with the morning tears.

"Tell us everything," Sora said sternly.

The nurse sighed, closing her eyes. "He's stable now, but…" she paused gulping, gripping her clipboard.

Kairi gave a small whimper, like a rain soaked puppy wanting to get inside to the warmth. Sora squeezed her shoulders slightly.

"But what?"

"He's not mentally stable. From the tests we ran, he's going through something psychologically…" she sighed, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. "Can you possibly tell me what could be causing this?" she asked.

Sora and Kairi looked at each other and back at the nurse.

"We're not sure…." Kairi said slowly, her eyes half closed.

"He's been acting really off, ever since we came back like eight months ago."Sora said, crossing his arms. 'He doesn't want to race as much anymore, or hang with us…. he's hanging by himself a lot lately."

"We haven't asked him because…" Kairi paused looking up at Sora. "We thought it'd be best if we left him alone."

"So you two don't know what could be causing this?"

They shook their heads. "If he has a problem, he likes to solve it on his own, but it never takes him this long."Sora explained.

"Thank you," the nurse said bowing her head. "He'll need to stay here overnight, just in case."

"Can we go see him?" Kairi asked, taking a step towards her.

"You can…but he still hasn't woken up." She sighed hopelessly. "Talk to him, it'll help." She said with a half smile and walked off.

"You go in first," Kairi said resting her head on his shoulder. "You've known him longer than I have…"

"You sure?"

She nodded, with a half smile.

He took her hands in his. "If you really want me to, then I will."

"I really, really want you to," she said smiling. "Please bring him back." A tear rolled down her cheek and fell on their clasped hands.

"I promise," he nodded, turned and placed his hand on the knob. He looked over at shoulder and nodded and pushed the door open to room 11D. He walked forward, stepping as if he was barefoot, walking in a field of glass. He looked around, as if something was following him or he heard a strange noise. "Something feels weird in this room…" he said in a hushed tone to himself.

I hear someone walking in here…who is it? I don't have the strength to find out who it is or why they're here. Where am I anyways? I don't know. However that person is, they feel familiar. I can't open my eyes to see who this familiar stranger is. How come I don't even have the strength to open my eyes? What the hell happened to me? Wait…I remember. I tried to drown myself, but Sora jumped in and saved me. All I remember is someone yelling 'Hold on…hold on." Maybe, I shouldn't hang on. I just want to sleep like this forever, sleeping without knowing the known and living the unknown. It's painful, but ever so relieving. They're happy together, they don't me. They can do whatever they want without a lonely ass hanging on them every second…. They don't need me.

"...You don't need me…"

"Riku?" Sora gasped, stepping into the darkness, his blue eyes widened, shining through the shadows.


	3. Awakening

Chapter 3- Awakening

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom heart or it's characters. This is just for fun.

This chapter is going to be different. From here on out, it's written in third person omniscient…it should've been from the start. So I apologize for making that mistake. From here on out, it's third…sorry if this causes any trouble. Person . ;;

"Riku? Are you really awake?" Sora asked stepping towards the silver haired male.

"No, I'm dead," he coughed, trying to sit up, but only fell back down of my lack of strength. He lay there, staring at the fan slowing moving around, giving him soft kisses of cool air. His head limply fell to the opposite, away from Sora.

"That's not funny Riku," he snapped.

"Heh,"

_I couldn't face him, not after that stunt I pulled. I dare not face Kairi; I probably made her worried sick. I am a fool. I can't pity myself, not do I deserve it. Nor do I deserve all this care I'm being given._

"Riku? Come on, you've gotta face me and talk to me!"

"Why should I?" The silver haired teenager snapped back. "Tell me why."

"Because I'm your friend, and Kairi and I have been worried about you man!" He said practically yelling. "You can't always face all your problems on your own, y'know. Your friends always have your-"

"Can it Sora!" He snapped sitting up, ripping off the mask. "I know you're going to lecture me on that," he paused. "Friends are always there for you no matter what," he said in a mocking tone. "Am I right?"

Sora looked away sadly at the ground. "Riku, why do you always push us away?"

He just rolled his eyes.

"And what the hell happened to you out there the other day? Huh?!" he yelled, throwing his arm aside.

"I decline to reply," Riku muttered, sitting upright in the bed, arms crossed.

"Kairi's been worried sick and I'm trying to stay strong for her! But, I can't when my own buddy put his own life in jeopardy at his own free will" he cried, his eyes twinkling like sapphires. "Please Riku…"

"I plea the fifth,"

"Riku!"

He turned to him; his eyes looking like that could cut through a diamond. "I. Plea. The. Fifth." He hissed. "Now leave me alone."

Sora rubbed his eyes. "I'm going to keep my promise with Kairi and not let you go again." He said softly and started to walk towards the door.

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep…." He paused. "Didn't you teach me that Sora?" he asked with a smirk.

His head hung off his shoulder, while his hand rested on the doorknob. He pulled his head up, showing his emotions before the silver haired boy." Yes, but you taught me, friends should never keep secrets from each other. Even if it might devastate them." He managed, as a tear rolled down his tanned face. He shook his head and opened the door and walked out.

"How is he?" Kairi said practically running up to Sora. "Is he alright?"

Sora opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, biting his lip and turned away from the girl waiting for an answer, like a child waiting for that fraud toy that you order off of TV, waiting days on end, only to meet devastation.

"Sora," she said sternly. "Please tell me."

He gulped and took her hands and led her to some nearby chairs and sat down. "Kairi…" he started, trying to hide his face. "I didn't tell you my suspicions earlier and I apologize…I wanted to make sure."

"What suspicions did you have?"

"I don't think Riku hurt himself in the ocean." He started and looked at her face-to-face, teary-eyed. "I think eh tried to drown himself."

"What? Why?" she gasped, looking confused.

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me." He sighed. "I just wish I could help him! Damn it!" He punched the wall beside him. His head fell in his hands. "I saved the worlds, but I can't save my best friend, what the hell am I supposed to?!" he sobbed.

Kairi laid her had on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be alright. You'll-I mean we'll pull him out again," she said with a half smile, as a tear seeped out of her lying eyes.

"How's Riku?" a deep voice said stepping forward, holding flowers.

Sora stood up put his arm out in front of Kairi, furrowing his brow. "What the hell are you doing here?" he growled.


End file.
